


Inarticulate

by KrisseyCrystal (IceCreAMS)



Series: Modern-Day Coffee Shop (WRFtD) [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputation, Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Crying, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, in the background - Freeform, y'know all that good stuff...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCreAMS/pseuds/KrisseyCrystal
Summary: Diana has lost her leg due to a freak accident. Now she has to deal with the afterwards.
Series: Modern-Day Coffee Shop (WRFtD) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680925
Comments: 7
Kudos: 5
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Inarticulate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inabsurd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inabsurd/gifts).



Mordecai leaves with his arm around Chelsaline’s shoulders, promising to go out and actually get some decent burgers for a change and to swing by to check on Soewati and make sure affairs at the coffee shop haven’t been trainwrecked by these past few days, and that leaves Diana finally alone with Endric.

It is, perhaps, something neither of them have ever wanted as much as they do now.

“How do you feel?”

“How do you think I feel?”

Amusement quirks at the corner of Endric’s mouth. 

Diana sighs. “You probably know better than anyone the answer to that question.”

When Endric shakes his head, it makes his ponytail bounce against his shoulders. “Y’know, as much as I love talking about myself, it doesn’t matter right now how I felt. We aren’t talking about me.”

Diana’s fingers dig into the white linen over her lap.

“How’m I supposed to feel?”

“Try again.”

Diana huffs. It would be amused if she could muster energy for it. “Endric--”

“--Diana, you fucking lost a _leg_. Bouncing around that’s gonna fucking hurt later when you run out of places to bounce _to_ so just…be honest with me. Be honest with _yourself._ It’s shitty, isn’t it?”

Diana doesn’t know whether to scream or cry. “Are you trying to calm me down or make me have another anxiety attack?”

“I don’t know. Do you need one?”

“I--” Diana’s head snaps to Endric. “--what? No! Fuck you! I _know_ my leg isn’t there anymore, okay? I _know_ it. Don’t--” She gasps for words that won’t come. All that’s there inside her is just a feeling; a sensation. Just an open, gnawing, nameless thing that she can’t articulate, only _experience._ “--don’t _push_ me. I had that leg in my life longer than you had your hand, so just…stop.”

Endric stills. The rarity of his obedience would probably be momentous, if it wasn’t soured by the gigantic elephant in the room.

Diana chuckles breathlessly and bows her head. “What am I saying?” she whispers and runs a hand over her face; she blows one full-lunged breath against the heel of her palm. She closes her eyes. “I’m sorry. Just…give me a sec.”

“It’s okay,” Endric says.

And Diana breathes.

When the first tears drip down her cheeks and fall to the hospital blanket, Diana lets them go, squeezing out from under her tightly closed eyes. It’s perhaps the first time she has ever allowed herself to cry in front of someone that isn’t Mordecai or Soewati, but Endric doesn’t say a word. She wonders if he knows.

“I’m not dying,” she finally murmurs. “My life isn’t suddenly over.” She rubs at her cheeks hard with both hands. “I _know_ that this isn’t the end.”

“Right.”

“But it’s so hard to not feel like it is.”

“Don’t discredit that. I mean, it _is_ still the end of _something_. Just…not everything.”

Diana sniffs. “What, are you suggesting I let myself be miserable about this?”

“You didn’t listen to a word I said.”

Diana finds a smile curling at the edges of her mouth. There’s irony in those words.

“I don’t know,” Endric continues and sighs. “I’m not a pro at this. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all for healing from an amputation. I just think…there’s no way you’re not upset in some way. I think you already know you are. You just can’t bottle it. Your life has been seriously changed for you; you’re _allowed_ to mourn the idea of your future you once thought you’d have.” Endric shrugs, the motion lopsided. 

Diana watches Endric for a long time. “Everything feels so damn open. I can’t even picture how things are going to be different after…”

When Diana doesn’t finish, Endric murmurs, “Isn’t that how the future is normally supposed to be?”

“Well, if change is supposed to be so normal, then why the hell does this all feel so terrible?”

The words came out harsh, much more than Diana intended.

Endric doesn’t bat an eye. He leans forward and puts both arms on the edge of her hospital bed: his right stump and his full left hand. “Believe it or not, Diana,” he says, “you _are_ allowed to keep crying.”

It starts with a hiccup. A tiny flinch of her shoulders. 

Diana bows her head. 

When Endric touches her arm with his hand, Diana takes his hand and squeezes it. He still doesn’t say a word, even when he must feel the drip of her tears onto his knuckles.

**Author's Note:**

> So uh. This is the first time I'm posting any of my original work here on AO3, so this is all new to me. Most of the time I post the canon stuff elsewhere, but because this is an AU of my own work (yeah we're really goin here) I thought I'd post it here whether other fics that aren't canon for uh other pieces get published
> 
> SO meet Diana and Endric, two of my OC's from my original novel "What Rises From the Depths." Diana doesn't really lose her leg in my own "canon" BUT because my good friend Bianca (inabsurd) req'd for Diana w/ the "Bad Things Happen" Bingo prompt of "Amputation," I thought I'd just fulfill the req with a modern-day au (background coffee shop au included pfftft cuz i can't help myself)
> 
> if you want to know more (or req your own bingo card fulfillment) check out [my BTH bingo card here](https://krisseycrystal.tumblr.com/post/613894668194840576/rated-t-original-story-what-rises-from-the)! I've still got some spots open. also you can find a thread of info about my novel, if ur interested, on my Tumblr as well


End file.
